How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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