Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
