You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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