if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
