I can feel you judging me through the phone.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
