it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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