It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
