I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
