Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
