He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
