He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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