Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
