When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
