Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
