i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
