We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
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