Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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