Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
