haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
