I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
