she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Drake has all the answers
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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