i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
