You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I showed him my bush... on skype.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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