so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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