shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
