I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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