Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
