I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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