I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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