So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
