Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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