That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
