I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
