I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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