wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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