I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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