I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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