My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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