For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
