You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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