You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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