I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
