Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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