New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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