your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
