Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
