Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
