Fine. I'll sleep in my office
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
