I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
