weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
