oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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