So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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