i'm signing you up for texting rehab
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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