I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
