I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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