HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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