I need help removing her.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Randomize
