The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
